Secret Code

Even amidst pain and rejection, our deepest faith rings true. And even amidst our wildest triumphs, our strongest doubts, fears and alienations stand.

The dynamism of life doesn't allow us to be single minded, driven without the lonely angst of second guessing. Our purpose threatens stagnation, our ends drive wedges between our loves and ourselves. And amidst that sorrowful pain, that horrible bipartite division, that wretching discord, we achieve sight. Not of our some glorious higher version of ourselves; not of some ephemeral dream that knowingly eludes our tightest grasp; but that true sight whose prescience allows our darkest failures and our bravest triumphs.

That deep breath that for which we have fought so long and hard does not privilege us with any vain semblance of triumph. It may bring epiphanous relief, but in the same moment releases that steady stream of tears whose awesome specter holds its perhaps last but strongest sway over us.

And in that moment, we curse ourselves beyond the damnation that belongs only to the wretched. In that moment, where we truly grasp our highest image with our most perverse nature, a single voice emerges. Its beautiful contradiction our own, its poignant resolution ours as well.

That still small voice, clear and true, quietly screaming,

"My soul be damned; Hallelujah."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AratTMGrHaQ